July 7th

So that was what I wrote last night.  On my way back to my house, Samuel was just pulling in next door so I went to say hi and when he asked me how my Mango trip I was I was happy for the invitation to talk to him.  It was really helpful - he let me be mad, agreed with some of the things I thought and gave similar examples of things that bothered him with the systems here, gave me some really great advice (we talked about Habakkuk and God’s timing), and then he prayed with me.  I didn’t go home perfectly satisfied, but at least I knew I’d be able to fall asleep.  This morning everyone was asking me how my trip to Mango was, that Dr. Miller had already told some of them about the hospital we went into.  Last night when that question was asked I had a hard time answering and not crying, and this morning at breakfast I was still pretty upset about it.  The majority of the people had remarks like ‘I know, so sad… too bad there’s nothing you can do’, or ‘ABWE would never allow you to do that- work in a public hospital under their name’ and it wasn’t what I wanted to hear.  Then Dr. Peterson (a short term OB doctor) told me that God doesn’t place things in your heart like that very often, that it is important to listen, and that I am a ‘better’ person (can’t remember how we actually worded it) than to just forget about it and continue on like I had never seen it.  Between what he had to say next and remembering what Sam had said the night before and on our run this morning as he walked into breakfast, I understand that God is a little bigger than me, His hand is over these people and the work that ABWE is doing there, and that it is in His timing.  Right now Tsiko is where God has placed me, and there is a lot of serving to do here.  Sure enough, when I walked into the hospital this morning there were ten really sick kids to take care of, lots of patients and their families being witnessed to, and I helped in a big surgery all morning.  It’s hard seeing all of this need for the first time, and I think I have some lessons on God’s sovereignty to learn.  So I will pray for the people in Mango, ask for God’s mercy on those children that have not been shown the Truth yet, and I will be looking forward to when God sends me to Mango to be part of what will be a huge, amazing ministry.  Until I get to return there, I hope that I can still see those beautiful faces clearly and be just as passionate about them as I was the day I walked out of those hospital doors.